Acts 11:1-18; Psalm 148; Revelation 21:1-6; John 13:31-35
Readings for Fifth Sunday of Easter (Year C)
It all feels such a long ways off. The church flinging its doors open to those it thought unclean. All of creation joining together to praise God. The moment when God will wipe every tear. A time when the the world will know we are disciples because of our love. Some days it feels like these moments are just around the corner. But right now they seem like they are in some far-flung galaxy across a dark and cold universe.
I'm projecting. I know that. In that tight rope walk between the already and the not yet, I know that I presently see the latter in gigantic, gaudy neon lights. Because that's how I feel. I have been Sisyphus pushing the boulder up a hill. Just when I think I may be getting a sense of direction, I'm crushed like some extra in an Indiana Jones movie. And though a stone is supposed to erode and smooth over time, mine seems to only get more jagged and heavy. Yeah, I'm projecting when I read these passages as being light years away.
All of which is to say, I am probably not the best person to write about these passages. One could argue that I am probably never the best person to write about these passages. They would probably be correct. The truth of the matter is there is a part of me that just wants to lie at the bottom of the hill. I don't want to engage these passages. I would like to walk away. Yet there is something inside of me that will not let that happen. It very well could be stubbornness though I hope it's actually God's Spirit.
Let me simply say that in this valley where news of God's Kingdom screams "NOT YET!" All you can do is pretend it is already here. That's not something you're supposed to do as a grownup. You're not supposed to pretend. Christians are supposed to act on convictions rooted in firm foundations. Pretending feels like a lie and perhaps it is, but I'm starting to think that following Jesus is pretending as God slowly breathes it into reality.
The passages this week provide ample opportunity to pretend that God's Kingdom is fully here. You try to embrace the outsider. You try to join creation in praising God. You hope against hope that God will wipe every tear. You love others even when your cold heart feels like it is barely beating. You try to live in the alreadiness of God's Kigndom even though it feels like pushing a massive rock up a mountain. Sometimes that rock won't even budge an inch. But you try and pray that by God's grace something good will happen. Sometimes that's all you can do.