If I'm being honest, you couldn't pay me to see War Room.
If I'm being completely honest, if you bought me popcorn and a Coke and paid me $20, I would see War Room. If you paid me $50, I'd silently nod and smile if you asked me what I thought.
If I'm being honest, I unfairly judge people who post anything on Facebook with a Minion on it.
If I'm being honest, I miss good, modern praise music being a regular part of my life. If someone with a guitar got up once a month and played "Beautiful Things" at our church, it would do my heart a whole heck of a lot of good.
If I'm being honest, I love being a parent, but at least once a week it kicks the crap out of me.
If I'm being honest, there is an unfinished blog about why I support the Supreme Court's decision on gay marriage that has sat on my computer for over two months.
If I'm being completely honest, the reason that blog hasn't been published is fear; mostly of people that I don't really talk to anymore.
If I'm being honest, I wish I were more brave.
If I'm being honest, the majority of Facebook links to Desiring God posts do not make desire the God they proclaim. It just makes me feel like God would want nothing to do with me.
If I'm being completely honest, social media is a fairly constant reminder that my theology has shifted from my more conservative Southern Baptist church upbringing and it often makes me feel quite lonely.
If I'm being honest, the series finale of How I Met Your Mother did indeed ruin the show for me.
If I'm being honest, SEC+ (meaning the SEC plus big programs like Clemson, Florida State, etc.) football fans make me like football a little bit less.
If I'm being honest, the thing that bothers me about many a 20 or 30-something reformed individual is that not only do they think that they are theologically superior to you, but they think they're cooler than you too.
If I'm being completely honest, it really bothers me that they usually are much, much cooler than me.
If I'm being honest, of all the good books that I have read this year, the one I've enjoyed (rather, am enjoying) the most by far is Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
If I'm being honest, I struggle with the line between showing grace to others and speaking against what I believe is harmful.
If I'm being honest, I feel like I'm a disappointment sometimes for a variety of reasons.
If I'm being honest, I feel like saying something like that will be perceived as asking for affirmation and I don't want it to come off that way.
If I'm being completely honest, affirmation is always nice.
If I'm being honest, I would really like to get the people who accuse others of "not believing the Bible" into a room and ask them what they really mean by "believe the Bible."
If I'm being honest, I wish I were more disciplined.
If I'm being honest, I think that people who say "Superman is dumb" are horrible people.
If I'm being honest, I fear that many people in my theological camp are so afraid of being labeled conservative that they run far away from ideas and practices that would be good to engage.
If I'm being honest, engaging God devotionally is like pulling teeth right now.
If I'm being honest, I sometimes feel like three plus decades into my life, I am having to start my faith from square one.
If I'm being honest, I am building from every scrap where I can find Jesus: a pre-dawn run here, a lyric there, a writing session in a tavern there, a hug from one of my sons here, a conversation over there, a Bible passage that I see in a new light. It is makeshift, but at times it seems like all I have.
If I'm being honest, retreat to what I knew or abandonment of faith sometimes looks tempting.
If I'm being completely honest, I can't do either of those things. As many questions and difficulties as I have, I can't shake God. And I'm grateful for this.
And if I'm being honest, I hold on to faith because of my wife and sons.
If I'm being honest, I am incredibly fortunate.
If I'm being honest, I have been very selective about what I have been honest about.