Weekly Lectionary takes a look (sometimes brief, sometimes longer, sometimes odd) at one of the lectionary passages for the upcoming Sunday. This week we're looking at the gospel passage Mark 10:46-52.
So I'm standing on the overpass screaming at the cars
"Hey, I wanna get better!"
Those lyrics from the song "I Wanna Get Better" by Bleachers popped into my head as I was reading about Blind Bartimaeus yelling on the side of the road. The correlation between song and story isn't close to perfect, but the image is spot on: a guy who has no other option for help screaming at the top of his lungs.
You can't be passive when you scream. You yell when something is churning deep down inside your soul and it absolutely has to escape. We yell when we are overjoyed or terrified or furious or desperate; sometimes it is a combination of those charged emotions. We often imagine stories form the gospel as overly polite episodes. Perhaps it is because so many movie Jesuses (Jesi?) have a British accent. Yet the people in these stories are often dealing with rawness of the human experience. In other words, there was probably a lot more yelling in the gospels than we realize.
And what provoked Bartimaeus to scream down the Son of God? Quite simply, he wanted to get better. He needed mercy. He hoped that he would be able to see again. He had a chance and was not satisfied with quietly nudging someone and asking if they could request a healing of Jesus, if it wasn't too big of a problem. No, he screamed his lungs out.
I didn't know I was lonely 'til I saw your face
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
I didn't know I was broken 'til I wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better
I wanna get better
It's kind of ironic. Even though Bartimaeus was blind, he still saw Jesus clearly. He knew that this teacher could heal him and that realization changed everything. To that point, Bartimaeus was blind. That was his normal. What else could he do? He wanted to see, but hoping for sight was about as practical as wishing to sprout wings and fly away. Getting better was not even an option on the table for Bartimaeus.
Until, that is, Jesus came along. Blindness wasn't the only option. Brokenness wasn't the only normal. That's why the desperation raised up in his voice: "Son of David, have mercy on me!" This was his one shot. That's why he was screaming by the roadside. He would have been foolish not to. The fact that Bartimaeus realized this, that he saw Jesus' face before he could actually even see...well, it's remarkable.
Apart from some people who really, really, really love to talk about how sinful we are, our brokenness is not a topic that we like to entertain. We tend to think that most of us are relatively good people. Maybe we are. I certainly don't think we are worthless garbage. Yet when I look at Jesus, I realize that something is off within me. I'm lonely, broken, in need of change, and in need of mercy. I see Jesus and I want to get better.
Yet I often pursue that meekly. I am almost apologetic. "Jesus, if it's not too much trouble at all and please don't be mad about this, could you make me better. I mean, I totally understand if you can't or don't want to. I was just wondering...you know, never mind" And I shouldn't be like that. Bartimaeus screamed to the point that people were trying to get him to shut up and yet Jesus called out to him and healed him. We tend to think that God helps us begrudgingly; like it's something that has to be done because of the whole cross thing. But, no, it seems like God loves to help us. God wants to heal us.
So rather than meekly and apologetically coming to Jesus with the feeling that I'm putting him out, maybe I should be more like Bartimaeus: screaming from the overpass that I want to get better.