To Jim on His 11th Birthday

Jim,

You were so excited this morning. You bounded out of bed and exclaimed “It’s my birthdaaaaaaaay!” as you wrapped your arms around me. Even though your party isn’t until later this week (and you have to share it with your parents), you were just thrilled with the fact that today you turned eleven. And you got to open one present. You were pretty pumped about that.

You still beamed when I picked you up from school. You didn’t even mind when we went to the church to kill time before we picked up dinner. You picked a barbecue place for dinner. The present you got today was a Lego version of Luke Skywalker’s X-Wing. The movie that you picked was Avengers: Age of Ultron, which is definitely the worst Avengers movie but you’re very dedicated to tackling these things chronologically. Three choices that highlight that you are definitely my son (there are many ways you are your mother’s son as well). It’s been a good day.

I have been writing these birthday letters to you for a decade now and this might be the first time that I feel a hefty dose of melancholy as I reflect on you being another year older. There is change around the corner. You are still very much a kid, but for the first time I really feel the finitude of those days. You are in middle school now. You will be starting in my youth group over the course of the summer. And I just have the sense that it’s going to sneak up on me. I won’t realize that you’ve crossed that threshold into adolescence until after the fact. Growing up is good. I want you to grow up. And there is part of me that is just not ready for it. Not yet.

Of course I don’t get a choice in the matter nor should any parent. But like all parents, I want you to be safe. I want you to be happy. I want you to make the right choices. I see you walk out of school alongside kids who are over a foot taller than you and it sets off every protective instinct in my bones. I have dedicated most of my adult life to working with middle and high schoolers. I think they never get the respect they deserve and are some of the best people out there. But they can also sometimes be the worst because that’s how people roll. I don’t want you to experience feeling of being left out or feel like you are less than the amazing guy you were created to be or, God forbid, act like the worst yourself.

Odds are all three will probably happen at one point or another. But I hope that you can navigate it as well as possible. You’ll never be alone as you do that. Your mom and I are always going to be in your corner and we love you fiercely. You have a brother, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, people at church, and so many more who are 100% here for you. Jim Cox, you are so very loved and it is my mission in life to make sure that you never forget that.

And Jesus will always be there for you as a comfort, a friend, a guide, and more. About a month ago, I got to baptize you and it was easily the best moment that I have experienced in my time in ministry. You have started saying more prayers at bedtime and I love to hear you express yourself in these first steps of faith. Keep asking questions. Keep learning. Keep growing. God is big enough for all of that and know that nothing in all of creation will ever separate you from God’s love either.

Jim, I said this to you think morning as you got out of the car for school, but I will say it again. I am so grateful that I get to be your dad. You coming into our lives eleven years ago was one of the best things ever. Even on the days when it may be a little hard to like you, we are still so thankful that you are in our lives. We love you more than you’ll ever know. Happy 11th Birthday! Here’s to another wonderful year.

Love,
Your Dad