Grace Upon Grace

John 1:10-18
Gospel Reading for the Second Sunday after Christmas (Year B)

A funny thing has happened in perpetual reassessment of faith in adulthood: I believe in total depravity. Not necessarily in the theological construct that posits that we all are born into corruption because of original sin. One of the most consistent parts of my faith journey is that hardcore Calvinism has always seemed problematic to me. I just mean that I believe that we as humans are really, really screwed up. I believe we all hold that divine spark from God too; that Imago Dei.

But, good Lord, we are a messed up people.

You can look around for ample evidence. I won’t point it out to you, because I could look within for evidence as well. There is something askew and off the mark about us. There is something about us that is not quite as it should be. Now because we are made in God’s image, there is that capacity within us to be more like what we should be. We just often cannot or will not access it.

I am well aware of the ways that this line of thinking can go a really bad way; a “you are a worthless piece of garbage” narrative that actually makes things worse rather than makes things better. There have been times in my life where I have struggled mightily with whether I believe that I am worth love from God or anyone because of this virulent strain within evangelical teaching. I don’t believe in emphasizing the sin within us, but I don’t believe in ignoring it either.

We need help. From Christ. From community. We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we are also not yet everything that we’re supposed to be. But it’s a difficult and winding path to what God calls us. It is full of places where we will trip and fall. Even people who follow God are constantly tripping over themselves.

All of which is why one verse in today’s gospel passage means so much to me: From his fullness we have received grace upon grace (John 1:16). Grace upon grace. Forgiveness, mercy, redemption. The ability to go forward with our screwed up selves. The permission to grow and learn. The opportunity to still follow the way of Jesus even after we fail.

Grace upon grace. I love that image. I imagine grace stacking to the sky. A Tower of Forgiveness that will overshadow every one of our Babels. Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace. In a world where it is sometimes difficult to see hope because of how we fail, how the church fails, how our community fails, how I fail, that is a lifeline. God loves us, sees the divine spark in us, gives us Christ, and offers us grace upon grace.