Not Yet Ready

RISE! AND SHINE! AND GIVE GOD THE GLORY! GLORY!

For many summers, Friday mornings were for screaming that at the top of my lungs while furiously pumping my arms up and down because we are to give God the glory, glory with all our being and not by just daintily swaying our hands back and forth. I was part of a group that was known as the Not Yet Ready for Evening Worship Service Singers (Not Yet Readies for short).

The Not Yet Readies were the camp staff members who were a little less talented in the musical department. We didn't sing solos in worship services. We typically weren't multi-instrumentalists though a fair number of drummers and bassists (guilty) were in our ranks. But what we lacked in tuneful talent, we more than made up for with heart. We would lead our three songs during morning celebration in a state of supernova delirium. We were loud and silly and proud of our not-yet-readiness.

I think about those Fridays often during the summer. Whenever I hear a VBS-style song that is done with motions, I always want to crank the energy up just a little bit more. By the way, did you know that there are regional variations to "Rise and Shine"? There are. Also, if people aren't prepared they will be a little bit terrified if you scream the song at the top of your lungs and throw your whole body into the motions. It's true.

But I digress. The funny thing is that, despite our name, I was most ready to be a Not Yet Ready. I was not ready to be an evening worship singer, but a Not Yet Ready? I could do that in my sleep. This is partly because I helped lead that Friday morning set for a solid decade. Yet I also think that our admitted unreadiness opened the door for us to just be who we were. Sure, we weren't awesome at music, but we were going to give it our all and have fun doing it. I was more than ready for that (though I'm 99% certain I would die if I tried today to lead "Rise and Shine" like I did in my 20s).

There are many times in my life when I still feel not yet ready. Yet unlike being a Not Yet Ready, these moments of unreadiness prey on my insecurities. Being a parent is a non-stop feeling of unreadiness. Just when you think you're getting the hang of it, your kids get older and new challenges charge at you. All of which is kind of frightening when you have been tasked with safely guiding your offspring to adulthood in a manner in which they are hopefully good people.

I even feel unready in parts of my life for which I am thoroughly prepared and even certified. I majored in religion in college, I worked at youth camps for years upon years, I got my masters in seminary, I was ordained, and there are still days when I feel like a Not Yet Ready youth minister. Again, it's not that I don't prepare or have no clue what I'm doing, but there are times when things come at you and that internal dialogue kicks in that whispers, "You are not going to be awesome at this." A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on a plane bound for Guatemala and I realized that I was responsible, in a foreign country, for 18 people who were other people's children. For a second, that was a terrifying feeling. I was ready for that, but also felt like I kind of wasn't.

I think I am learning to push back on those insecurities by embracing my inner Not Yet Ready. So many times in life we are so focused on performing for other people that we get outside of our own heads. We are only concerned with, "Are they going to like this? Is this going to be okay?" And you still need to consider those things. It would be terrible if, as a parent or youth minister, I was like "Forget what everyone else thinks!" But the unspoken credo of the Not Yet Readies was "We might not be awesome at this, but we are going to give it our all and we're going to try to have fun."

The fun aspect may not be applicable to all life situations, but give it a try. Embrace the joy of what you do if you can. Additionally, I think there is freedom when we realize that we cannot be prepared for everything and that what we do is not going to be perfect. We still prepare. We still work our tails off. But at some point you've got to let go. Let go of worrying about how other people will judge you. Let go of the concern that you might look foolish. Then do the very best that you can. Give it your all whether it is parenting, being a student, youth ministry, singing, cooking, welding, whatever. It may not be perfect because we are not perfect.

However, I think God honors what we wholeheartedly offer up in spite of our unreadiness. Especially if we are seeking to bring God's goodness to those around us. Thomas Merton once famously prayed:

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.

So if you are feeling unready and don't know exactly what you're doing, that's okay. Even monks that people write books about feel that way. But heart, the desire to please God, and to do good counts for a lot. So I hope that in those times when you feel not yet ready, that you will embrace it. I hope that you will rise up and shine. I hope that you will give what you are doing everything that you can. And know that if you are wholeheartedly seeking to bring goodness that very act can give God the glory . . . glory.