Still With Me

Still With Me

Chris Cox
Weekly Lectionary

"Oh Lord, You have searched me and known me."

That can be a terrifying statement. It seems pretty innocuous at first. God has searched us and known us. That's what God does; knowing is one of the things the Divine just does. But then I consider the reality of God searching and knowing me. Not the front that I put up. Not the version of myself with my best foot forward. Not Writer Chris. Not Youth Minister Chris. Not even Husband or Father Chris. Sure all of those are part of me.

But the me that God has searched and known contains a tangle of insecurities, failures and screw-ups too numerous to mention, a heart that wants to follow God, but often veers from that path in a single beat. I read that first verse and sometimes I am flooded with every mistake I've made, every person I've hurt, every bit of myself that I wish were better in some way and I feel like the stoner at high school who feels nervous when the drug dogs come around. Please God, don't search me.

Death and All of His Friends

Death and All of His Friends

Chris Cox

Earlier today, the oldest and I were riding in a car to an appointment. He was having a rough morning of his own doing and I wanted him to get re-grounded before we set off on the day. So I plugged in my phone and I played the Coldplay song "Strawberry Swing." I told him the story about how this was the song that his mom and I listened to when we brought him home from the hospital and it will always be one of my favorites because it reminds me of how lucky we are to have him. In the span of 4 minutes and 10 seconds, his entire demeanor brightened and we were ready to take on the day.

The song after that is "Death and All of His Friends." It's probably been a year or two since I've heard this song, but the escalating refrain at the end has been in my head all day long:

I don't want to battle from beginning to end
I don't want a cycle of recycled revenge
I don't want to follow death and all of his friends

Say Their Names (Luke 16:19-31)

Say Their Names (Luke 16:19-31)

Chris Cox
Sermon Manuscript

My name is William Christopher Cox. The William is after my dad who goes by Bill, my Granddad who also goes by Bill—which, side note: my granddad’s name is Bill Williams and it absolutely blew my six year old mind when I figured out that his name was William Williams—and also my dad’s maternal grandfather. The Christopher in my name is because I was born in the early 1980s and it was federal law at the time that every fifth male child born in the United States would be named Christopher. Seriously, though, part of the reason my mom and dad gave me that name is because of what it means. Anyone who has rifled through those name bookmarks at Cracker Barrel can tell you that Christopher means “bearer or follower of Christ.” Faith has always been important to my family and my parents put that value into my very name.

There are bits and pieces of our parents and their histories in the name of myself and my siblings. My brother Taylor shares a middle name with my dad and his first name is a tribute to the South Carolina town where my parents met, fell in love, and served in a church. My sister Shari is named because it is a combination of Sharon and Mary—our two grandmothers—and her middle name Katherine is our mom’s name. We have the legacy of our parents’ lives in our very names, but it is remixed and rearranged into something that is unique. 

Dance

Dance

Chris Cox

For one night, a rustic camp dining hall was turned into a dance club. Flashing lights pulsated and a smoke machine filled the room. Every few songs, a group of teenagers poured outside for a break. It was an unusually cool evening for June and, even by the campfire, the night air allowed for a brief recharge before the bass line of a favorite song compelled them to come back in. While the students were by the fire, they recruited.

"Chriiiiiiiiiiissssss, come in and daaaaaaaance."

I don't dance. Not because of some grand moral stance. I would love to dance. Or at least I think I would. No, the problem is I am a white guy from South Carolina who was raised Baptist. I have tripped other people doing the Electric Slide. Unfortunately, dancing for me is peak awkwardness for an individual that already feels pretty darn awkward most of the time. I discovered recently that I am a 9 on the Enneagram and dance avoidance is a classic example of preserving my inner calm.

And I kind of hate that, because dancing looks like so much fun.

Together

Together

Chris Cox
Weekly Lectionary

My headspace is a complicated place right now. Today is Pentecost; the day we celebrate the coming of the Holy Spirit. It's considered by many to be a sort of birthday for the Church. It reminds us of the ties that bind the disparate threads of Christianity together. We all started in that room.

At the same time, I'm processing another terror attack in London. Whenever something like this happens, it splinters everyone into factions. There are people saying we need to profile minorities more. Folks use the attack as a catalyst to argue certain political platforms. There individuals aghast at all of this and saying we need to pull together and others calling those people snowflakes. Such an atrocity divides, strikes fears, incites rage, and all of that is exactly the goal of such an evil act.

My Brother's Keeper

My Brother's Keeper

Chris Cox

Early in Genesis, Yahweh asks Cain where his brother Abel is. Cain, like a punk, replies, "I don't know. Am I my brother's keeper?" (P.S. He also killed Abel) God's response indicates that, yes, Cain is supposed to be his brother's keeper. But I wish the Almighty had been more explicit; that the story would have put it in all bold and all capital letters "YES! YOU ARE YOUR BROTHER'S KEEPER! AND YOUR SISTER'S TOO!" so that no one could ignore the reality that we are called to take care of one another.

I thought about Cain's flippant response when the news was announced that the president was pulling the country out of the Paris Climate Accord. The move was unfortunately not surprising as it fits his "America First" agenda and also considering his earlier statements that climate change is a hoax. Still, the move was infuriating.

Ebenezer (1 Samuel 7:3-12)

Ebenezer (1 Samuel 7:3-12)

Chris Cox
Sermon Manuscript

I was running the 5.8 Trail at Percy Warner Park because I didn’t know what to do. Honestly, it had been a crappy few days. Sunday had been my birthday. Now birthdays for adults are not filled with the same amount of excitement as birthdays are for kids. Still you want to have a good day. Mine started with a two-week old hot water heater spraying water into our laundry room to the tune of 3 inches of flooding. On top of that, our children—probably because of some combination of the flooding, being displaced for a night, and the end of the school year—had gone full Lord of the Flies on us.

This one-two punch combined with a few other things to send me into an existential tailspin. None of it was big, but it was enough to snowball into this response of “Oh no, I’m horrible at life! I’m not a good parent. Am I good at my job? Am I even passable for an adult?” None of which is a a good headspace to be in when you’re supposed to be coming up with a sermon for the next Sunday.

Twenty-Four Plus Ten

Twenty-Four Plus Ten

Chris Cox

I don't listen to Switchfoot anymore.

That's not a knock on the alternative rock (is that still a genre?) band's music or lyricism. The band was incredibly important to me during my college years. Their songs ignited me like few things did during that time. But as I waded deeper into adulthood, the tether that tied my heart to their music snapped and I'm not exactly sure why. Time deepens some loves and erodes others.

So it was weird that Jon Foreman's voice was the first thing I heard in my head when I woke up on my thirty-fourth birthday:

I want to see miracles
To see the world change
I wrestled the angel
For more than a name

To Jim on his 7th Birthday

To Jim on his 7th Birthday

Chris Cox

Jim,
We came to your school today to eat lunch with you and bring your class cupcakes. It is fun to see you in this new environment. We were worried how you would adjust to the move, but you prove to us again and again how resilient you are. Your teacher told us that you are a delight. And that's true. You are a delight.

You wear your heart on your sleeve. Your emotions are always at the forefront. Sometimes it goes a little overboard, but I hope that you never learn to shove your feelings down. I hope that I can always see joy on your face when you're happy. I hope that you will be brave enough to let people know when you are sad and upset. You have a beautiful heart and it ought to be worn on your sleeve.

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